Patchwork
by Bazylia de Grean
Summary: A series of random SW drabbles and vignettes, so far starring: Dooku, Qui-Gon, Jocasta Nu, Yoda, Obi-Wan.
1. Foreword

Welcome to _Patchwork, _a series of SW drabbles and vignettes. Since it's my exams time now, and I find writing quite refreshing and relaxing, I expect I'll soon have some more of those little stories.

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Here's the list of ones completed so far:

**01. Blindsight**

Musings of Yoda and Dooku after their encounter on Vjun.

**02. In Flashback**

What memory does Qui-Gon see a moment before his death?

**03. Purpose**

Qui-Gon is ill, and it makes Dooku think what being a 'father' means.

**04. Balance**

Dooku sensing Qui-Gon's death. Jocasta's POV.

**05. Sleeping in Light**

A moment before Dooku's death.**  
**

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Disclaimer: I don't own any character from the SW universe, I'm only borrowing them for a while now and then.


	2. Blindsight

**Blindsight**

_But a secret let me tell you, apprentice._

Dooku is sitting in the cockpit of his solar sailer, his thoughtful gaze again and again drawn back to the acrid orb of Vjun, shining in the growing distance. How pathetic, he thinks, replaying the encounter with his former master once more before his mind's eyes, how pathetic of Yoda to think he could be turned back, after all the deeds he has done, after all the deaths he brought with the war, after all his treasons and misdoings. How blind the aged master must have become not to see all the darkness his old apprentice holds within. How blind.

--

Yoda is regarding the shell, looking surprisingly fragile against his tough wrinkled palm. The tiny master raises his hand, and watches the sunlight shining through the shell. A knowing smile, though underlayed with melancholy and with a hint of sadness, is tugging at his lips. How blind his apprentice is, not to comprehend what is making him think twice, hesitate, even verge on doubt, making his hand tremble, in fear, yes, but also in the agony that lack of understanding is. How blind the boy is not to notice the light, standing out clearly in the darkness he holds within.

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_Author's note:_

'Blindsight' is, and I'm quoting this from scholarpedia, 'a condition in which the sufferer responds to visual stimuli without consciously perceiving them'.

(And another definition, from wikipedia: 'a phenomenon in which people who are perceptually blind in a certain area of their visual field demonstrate some response to visual stimuli'.)

The quote is from _Yoda: Dark rendez-vous_, a book by S. Stewart.


	3. In Flashback

**In ****flashback**

_Back to a place you once knew (…)_

A searing pain explodes in his chest, and Qui-Gon takes a deep, shuddering breath as he collapsed onto the metal floor. His eyelids flutter, and then close. He does not see his whole life displayed before his eyes, not even some most important moments, and he is surprised not to remember any of Yoda's wise words about the Force, not to see an image of Tahl, his Tahl, who is waiting for him. But it is none of that.

What Qui-Gon does remember is a rainy afternoon in the Temple, back in his padawan times, and the drowsy atmosphere of the infirmary, and an overtaking pain. He remembers a dark-clad figure appearing at the door, then approaching the bed on which he is laying, and he is now able to recognize the face of his Master. The Jedi Master puts his warm hand on the boy's head, and Qui-Gon feels immediate relief as his pain diminishes slightly. When his Master speaks, there is a paternal affection in his voice, a tone Qui-Gon hears so rarely and treasures so much.

"Don't be afraid, Padawan," says Master Dooku, both his lips and eyes smiling reassuringly at Qui-Gon. "You will live."

* * *

Lyrics from a song _I Believe in You_ by Il Divo and Celine Dion.


	4. Purpose

**Purpose**

_If there is a key_

_That goes to your heart…_

Jedi Master Dooku paced the room again, silently watching his padawan. Qui-Gon was asleep now, and Dooku allowed his eyes to become warm and compassionate as he stared at the boy's tired face.

"Don't worry, it's nothing serious," reassured Jocasta Nu's a soft whisper beside him.

Dooku let out a quiet sigh and shook his head. "Yes, yes, I know. But I still do worry."

"It's hard, isn't it?" asked Jocasta, her gaze understanding. "Being a parent?"

"It is," he agreed, his voice barely audible. "But I would never give it up. It gives one a purpose to truly live."

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Lyrics from Melissa Etheridge's song _It Will Be Me_.

By using the word 'parent' I didn't mean literally that Dooku is Qui-Gon's father, but rather the kind of father-son-like bond they share.


	5. Balance

**Balance**

_And the future has passed_

_without even a last desperate warning_

A perfect balance, each step graceful and accurate, though never measured, the green blade being a living creature on its own, and in perfect harmony with him – that is Master Dooku, practising. Jocasta watches him, admiring the ensnaring dance, feeling Yan's perfect balance in the Force, which gives confidence to his feet and hands.

And then there is a cry, an echo sending a shock through the Force, like a pebble thrown into a lake, and waves rise around, waves of anger and of pain, but where the pebble was, there is silence. Jocasta sees Yan waver and fall onto his knees, his balance shattered, his 'saber landing on the floor with a loud clatter, but not loud enough to drown out the painful echo. The echo, and the name, for that pebble had a name, and a one well, oh, so well-known to Yan…

She wants to rush to him, to do something, but triples over the hem of her robe and staggers, trying not to fall, her balance disturbed. But when she watches him, still on the floor, face hidden in his hands and his silhouette shivering with silent, violent sobs, Jocasta understands she cannot do anything, she cannot, and she never will be able to. Because Yan's balance is shattered, and Jocasta has a terrible feeling he will never regain it.

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The quote is from the song _The Last Unicorn_, by the band America, from _The Last Unicorn_ soundtrack.


	6. Sleeping in Light

**Sleeping in L****ight**

He looks back at Skywalker, aware of uncertainty and fear visible on his face.

_I will _die, he thinks, and suddenly, in the millisecond between the already moving lightsabers and his death, there is no fear and no doubts, there is no Palpatine or Skywalker.

There is a magnificent light, and all his life is before his eyes, every memory clear and separate but all of them appearing at once as the millisecond stretches into eternity, a single grain of the sands of time becoming a world. Scenes flash past him, a spectacle on a distant stage: a little boy at the seaside, holding a shell to his ear and laughing happily; an evening in the gardens of the Jedi Temple, dragonflies swirling above the pond, and the promise of a tiny Jedi Master; a lost friend, but the memory no longer stings as it used to for there is no more conflict; tender look in the eyes of a woman he loved once, the feelings suddenly coming back to him with amazing clarity; the day he took his first padawan, and how the brilliant boy turned into a true Jedi Knight in what now seems a blink of an eye; and hundreds of other images, everything that has ever been beautiful and precious in his life clearly outlined against the light. There are also memories of and loss and sadness, but they are no more, only harmony and love, overwhelming.

And then there is only the light, like a soft, flowing curtain… Dooku takes a step forth.

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Inspiried by descriptions of near-death experiences from D. Draaisma's book _Why Life Speeds Up As You Get Older_.


	7. Apprentice

**Apprentice**

For others, general Kenobi always seems an endless source of peace, serene energy and, occasionally, dry humour. An excellent negotiator, a skilled fighter, a good Master to his apprentice – general Kenobi is maybe one of the few who managed to become almost perfect Jedi Knights. Everyone can see that, because it is all on the surface.

Under the surface, deep inside, a part of Obi-Wan is still that young man who lost his Master on Naboo. Feeling he is not ready, that he still has much to learn, that he needs more experience, fearing that the task before him is too heavy and his shoulders would not be able to carry such a burden.

Deep inside, Obi-Wan is always hesitating, uncertain, thinking every move and word over and over, hoping to find confidence but succeeding in finding only more doubts. Every moment, every difficult decision, he catches himself wondering what Master Qui-Gon would do in his place, or what could Yoda's advice be, sometimes he even considers how Master Dooku would have handled it was he still a Jedi. Always trying to do what someone better and wiser than him would do, someone more experienced. Always hesitating, and never quite certain he is doing the right thing, never sure he is choosing as he should, as would be for the best.

He did not feel ready then, only an apprentice, from whom the Master was taken too early, and behind his serene facade he is that apprentice still, yearning for guidance and having to guess and discover it on his own. Because on the way they have forgotten, first amid duties and grief, then with the simple flow of time, because on the way someone has forgotten to tell him he could do it well enough himself.


End file.
